Totems of the Grizzlemaw
February 12, 2010
We’re all friends here right? I feel I can share something a bit personal to me. Yes, I have had a few drinks and feeling a bit sentimental at the moment.
It has been nearly a year since I have logged into World of Warcraft. I remember the last day I logged into WoW knowing that it would likely be my last. It was very sad for me. I travelled to all the places I loved for many years. Ironforge, Stormwind, and took the boat for the last time from Menethil Harbor. I sent my letters to all my guildies saying, “Sorry friends, I just need time off for a while but I may see you again. I just have to be more focused on RL for a while”. Some of my friends had gone off to do things in their lives (school, military, and work). The guild seemed like it had changed and I didn’t feel like I could revitalize it without the help of my friends that had gone already.
I was a guild leader on Akama for Addicted. My guild was filled with some of the most interesting and diverse groups of people that I had ever known in any circle of friends. I never thought that talking to people over the internet every night could be so rewarding. I loved every minute of being on Vent with these good people. I met people from all over the world through my guild, people that challenged me, made me laugh, and gave me a sense of belonging. You see I work so much that I never have had time over the last 20 years to really make lasting friendships in the real world. Gaming fulfilled a much needed sense of belonging for me that I have never had in my life.
I have been listening to the Soundtrack for “Wrath of the Lich King” by Derek Duke, Glenn Stafford & Russell Brower for the past few months and I am stuck on the track “Totems of the Grizzlemaw”. The song is sad, painfully sad for me. It’s a beautiful piece that features traditional folk instrumentation with Hungarian stylized violin. Listen to Marta Sebestyen and you get the picture. I couldn’t figure out why I was playing it over and over. It occurred to me that Howling Fjord was the point where I felt alone.
Here is another deep-dark secret about me, I love feeling emotion through music. If it makes me cry or feel overwhelming sadness, I love it even more. Totems of the Grizzlemaw fit the bill. The song made me feel sad for all that I had lost, for all I had thrown away so carelessly. I recklessly gave up the only group of friends I have had since I started working a professional job. Sometimes it feels easy to toss aside an MMO because “It’s just a game” as people say. It’s not just a game - it’s your link to people that have sculpted who you are and how you interact with people on so many levels. Being a guild leader taught me how to be a better leader in my career. Being a guild-mate taught me how to be more dedicated and social. Ultimately, I gained the ability to have friendships that were missing in my life for so many years.
There is a proverb I know... “Friendship, like phosphorous, shines brightest when all around is dark”. As I listen to what Russell, Derek, and Glenn created, I have my sadness and the music let’s me remember my friends. Nothing ever lasts forever but I will never say goodbye as long as I have the music to remind me.
www.PacifierMusic.com
It has been nearly a year since I have logged into World of Warcraft. I remember the last day I logged into WoW knowing that it would likely be my last. It was very sad for me. I travelled to all the places I loved for many years. Ironforge, Stormwind, and took the boat for the last time from Menethil Harbor. I sent my letters to all my guildies saying, “Sorry friends, I just need time off for a while but I may see you again. I just have to be more focused on RL for a while”. Some of my friends had gone off to do things in their lives (school, military, and work). The guild seemed like it had changed and I didn’t feel like I could revitalize it without the help of my friends that had gone already.
I was a guild leader on Akama for Addicted. My guild was filled with some of the most interesting and diverse groups of people that I had ever known in any circle of friends. I never thought that talking to people over the internet every night could be so rewarding. I loved every minute of being on Vent with these good people. I met people from all over the world through my guild, people that challenged me, made me laugh, and gave me a sense of belonging. You see I work so much that I never have had time over the last 20 years to really make lasting friendships in the real world. Gaming fulfilled a much needed sense of belonging for me that I have never had in my life.
I have been listening to the Soundtrack for “Wrath of the Lich King” by Derek Duke, Glenn Stafford & Russell Brower for the past few months and I am stuck on the track “Totems of the Grizzlemaw”. The song is sad, painfully sad for me. It’s a beautiful piece that features traditional folk instrumentation with Hungarian stylized violin. Listen to Marta Sebestyen and you get the picture. I couldn’t figure out why I was playing it over and over. It occurred to me that Howling Fjord was the point where I felt alone.
Here is another deep-dark secret about me, I love feeling emotion through music. If it makes me cry or feel overwhelming sadness, I love it even more. Totems of the Grizzlemaw fit the bill. The song made me feel sad for all that I had lost, for all I had thrown away so carelessly. I recklessly gave up the only group of friends I have had since I started working a professional job. Sometimes it feels easy to toss aside an MMO because “It’s just a game” as people say. It’s not just a game - it’s your link to people that have sculpted who you are and how you interact with people on so many levels. Being a guild leader taught me how to be a better leader in my career. Being a guild-mate taught me how to be more dedicated and social. Ultimately, I gained the ability to have friendships that were missing in my life for so many years.
There is a proverb I know... “Friendship, like phosphorous, shines brightest when all around is dark”. As I listen to what Russell, Derek, and Glenn created, I have my sadness and the music let’s me remember my friends. Nothing ever lasts forever but I will never say goodbye as long as I have the music to remind me.
www.PacifierMusic.com
